Compounding grief: human resilience and the enduring bonds of family – Manny’s story

After losing her beloved son, followed by her husband some years later, Manny finds Amber Community a lifeline.

Remembering Jack

Reflecting on my association with Amber Community, I realise the profound impact it has had on my life over the past 13 years. The moment that led me to seek support from the organisation was the tragic loss of my 13-year-old son, who was killed when he was hit and run over by a truck whilst cycling with his dad.

My son, Jack, was a vibrant and compassionate boy, full of life and endless curiosity. He had a knack for making friends wherever he went, his infectious laughter and genuine kindness drew people to him. The pain and helplessness I felt following his death shattered my world. I was overwhelmed with grief and sorrow. I found it impossible to carry on with daily life, and every moment was tinged with the absence of my son. I felt isolated in my pain, and simple tasks were enormous challenges.

Receiving trauma informed counselling was a lifeline

A police officer at the crash site had given me a pamphlet for Road Trauma Support Services Victoria, now Amber Community, and told me this organisation provided support to people like us. Within weeks, I attended the first of what would be countless sessions of counselling. Knowing I could reach out for help when needed without worrying about the costs provided a safety net. The counsellors are experienced in dealing with road trauma and grief, offering guidance and support. I had a regular weekly appointment with my counsellor for many months, and her support has been lifechanging; she is someone who provides unwavering support and companionship and understands my journey.

A sense of community and purpose through art, new friends and volunteering

Another crucial element of my healing process was the monthly art therapy group session offered by Amber Community. Engaging in creative therapy provided an outlet for my emotions, allowing me to express the grief, anger and confusion that words often failed to capture. Through the art group, I found a way to process my trauma and connect with others who shared similar experiences. These sessions were a safe space where I could explore my feelings and transform the pain into something meaningful and beautiful. The creative process helped me cope with my loss and contributed to my healing journey. I made lasting friendships through the group with kindred spirits who offered support, understanding and companionship beyond the sessions. These friendships have become an important part of my life, providing a continuing source of comfort and mutual support. Hearing others’ stories helped me process my own grief and showed me the strength and resilience that lie within the people coping with road trauma. The strength of the people in this group enabled an environment where scars began to fade through mutual empathy and understanding of one another.

My involvement with the group extended to fundraising. Together with a dear friend and participant of the art group, we created items to sell at a local market. The process was therapeutic and provided a way to give back to the organisation that had supported us. We managed to raise several thousand dollars, which we donated to Amber Community. The experience reinforced our sense of purpose and showed that we had the power to make a positive impact.

I also became active in organising several Time for Remembering ceremonies. The annual event provides a space for people to come together and honour those lost and injured on our roads. It’s also a time to pay tribute to those who work to reduce the number of lives lost and injured and those who work to ease the pain of road trauma. Seeing the impact of the ceremony, and the comfort it brings to all, reinforces the importance of community in the healing process.

Through my involvement in other Amber Community events like the Shine a Light on Road Safety community walk, I have witnessed the importance of coming together to remember, honour and support one another in our journey toward recovery and to show our shared commitment to road safety.

In addition to my involvement with Amber Community activities and events, I also volunteer each month to share my story at Road Trauma Awareness Seminars, a program for individuals referred by the justice system. Recognising the importance of raising awareness about the devastating consequences of reckless and careless driving, I felt compelled to use my experience to help educate others and advocate for safer road practices. Through the seminars, I share the painful realities of losing a loved one to road trauma, and emphasise the ripple effects it has on families and communities. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire reflection, empathy and ultimately, positive behavioural change among offenders, encouraging them to consider the human impact of their actions behind the wheel. This voluntary work provides me with a sense of purpose and empowerment in using my pain for meaningful change and allows me to contribute to preventing future tragedies.

Compounding grief: Manny returned to Amber Community once again

Losing my husband to cancer after the loss of my son added another layer of grief to my journey, and Amber Community again became a lifeline. Their compassion provided comfort during the darkest times, and with their kindness and empathy helped me find moments of light, reminding me that I was not alone.

In the turmoil of loss and grief, my surviving son became a beacon of strength and resilience. Despite his own struggles and sorrow, he stood by me with unwavering support and love, offering comfort and stability during the difficult times. He showed the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring power of family bonds. His love and appreciation make me feel like a good mother, even though I often grapple with feelings of inadequacy and a sense that in my grief, I neglected him when he needed me most. The weight of my grief felt suffocating, and I questioned whether I was capable of providing the love and support my son needed as he navigated his own grief.

My time with Amber Community has been a journey of healing, growth and empowerment. It has taught me the value of shared experiences and the strength found in community. It has helped me navigate my own trauma and enabled me to play a part in a broader mission of raising awareness of the effects of road trauma on families and the community. As one of the thousands of people Amber Community has helped, I find it difficult to express the depth of my gratitude. Their actions have truly made a difference in my life, and I am forever grateful for everything they have done for my family.

Our history

Amber Community was founded in 1994 by a small group of people whose lives had been directly impacted by road trauma. These people understood the need for a specialist service where support could be offered to those who, like them, were suffering because of the injury or loss of a loved one on the roads. They joined with professionals working in the area to provide counselling and support.

From this humble beginning in 1994, Amber Community has grown to offer state-wide counselling and support to people affected by a road incident. Amber Community now comprises a team of staff and volunteers who provide support and education services to more than 10,000 people annually.

Amber Community is a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to enhancing road incident support and education for the safety and wellbeing of road users. We rely on the generosity of our supporters to continue delivering this vital service. Learn more about our mission and consider making a donation to help us create safer roads for everyone.